There's A New Fuhrer In Town
by yellowmoon27
Summary: Royai! funny! paperwork, missing glasses, miniskirts, and lots of nosebleeds R


Roy Mustang sat in his office in complete and utter boredom. There was nothing but paperwork to do, and he absolutely _hated_ paperwork. It was tough being Fuhrer.

"Fuhrer, Sir?" a meek voice echoed through his room. He cast his gaze up and saw Feury squinting into his office. "Have you seen my glasses anywhere by chance? I seemed to have lost them," he said, sounding desperate.

"No, sorry Feury. Did you check everywhere you've been today?" Roy asked the other black haired man.

"Yeah I checked everywhere…oh wait. I didn't check _there_," he muttered to himself. "Thanks anyway Sir!" he said and took off down the hall.

Mustang sighed. Man he was bored!

He had become Fuhrer nearly a month ago and, like he had always dreamed, he made it mandatory for all women in the military wear miniskirts…especially Riza Hawkeye. He had known her since he was young and studied under her Father to learn about fire alchemy.

Riza was one of the main reasons he reached his main goal in becoming Fuhrer. She had promised him that, no matter what, she would help him reach his goal. And she did and she is probably regretting it now. Roy didn't miss the enraged and flushed expression on her face when he made the miniskirt rule during his inauguration of becoming Fuhrer. But _man_ she looked goodin a miniskirt! He nearly got a nosebleed when she first walked into his office with that small portion of cloth on around her thighs and he still wasn't completely used to the new look.

A knock on the door brought him out of his thoughts. _Well speak of the devil._

Riza was standing in the doorway with an annoyed expression on her face.

"Sir, you still haven't done your paperwork?" she asked exasperatedly.

Roy scratched the back of his head and laughed nervously. "Whoops. Well I was-"

"-Yeah, yeah, just do it now and stop making excuses."

"U-huh," he said distractedly, mesmerized yet again by the cloth on the lower part of her body.

Riza followed his gaze and her face grew red. "SIR!"

He snapped his head up as a bullet went flying past his head. "S-Sorry, Riza!"

She lowered her gun and her face grew shades darker at his use of her first name. She huffed and spun around to walk out the door.

"You better be done with that paperwork by the time I come back. I'll be taking a shower in the locker rooms," she growled. "And don't go peeking on me in the shower…_again_. Be warned."

The door slammed shut with a 'bang' and Roy let a breath of air out that he didn't know he had been holding. She was _scary_ when she wanted to be.

He reluctantly started doing his work. He paused momentarily and sighed. He opened the draw to his right and pulled out a black velvet box. Inside contained a rather expensive diamond ring. _When should I give it to her? Good think I'm Fuhrer though…I got rid of that fraternization rule when I came into office. Maybe I could invite her over tonight for diner…I just hope she won't shoot at me when I ask her to marry me. _

A shriek and a loud 'bang' brought him out of his thoughts and he jumped up and sprinted out of his office. He knew that scream. It was Riza. Something better not have happened to her or else!

He turned a corner and stopped dead in his tracks at the sight in front of him. The still glasses-less Feury was thrown forcefully through a door and out into the hall. Roy looked at the door his friend was thrown out of and noticed the sign that was next to it. It read: 'Women's Locker Room.'

_This isn't good, _Roy thought to himself.

From the other side of the hallway Havoc, Breda, Hughes, and Falman all came running to see what was going on.

Feury tried to stand but stopped as a round of bullets went flying at him and he was lucky enough to dodge them all.

"I-I'm sorry Colonel Hawkeye! I thought it was the man's locker room! I was just looking for my glasses!" he yelled in apology and bowed down, pleading for forgiveness.

"'Hawkeye?'" the others repeated and turned to the open locker room door only to get nosebleeds at the sight.

Hawkeye emerged, naked, out of the steam from the locker room and had her gun pointed straight at Feury.

_She…she's so…so beautiful, _Roy mused but quickly snapped out of it once he saw the looks the others were giving her. _They're looking at MY Riza?! No way in hell!_

Mustang ran up to Riza and threw one of his shoes at Havoc and the others. He waved his arms around and blocked their view of the soaking wet blonde. "Don't look at her!" he yelled and grabbed the stunned Riza by the hand and pulled her into the locker room causing her to drop her gun. Once in the room he pulled her close into a tight embrace.

Then it hit him. He was in the women's locker room with the woman he loved, who was also completely naked. His eyes widened and he quickly apologized to the still stunned woman.

He speedily pulled off his shirt and put it over her revealed body.

Her bangs covered her eyes but he could still see the bright red blush on her face.

"Get. The. Hell. OUT!!" she yelled and punched him as hard as she could, sending him out of the locker room. He landed on the still bowing Feury and he rubbed his head in pain. Then he noticed that the others were staring at him.

"Why the hell are you shirtless?! What did you try to do to her?" Havoc said in shock, his cigarette fell from his mouth. Roy looked down at his shirtless chest and laughed nervously.

_Maybe I'll ask her over for dinner _tomorrow _instead._

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